The "Dating" Scene

When moving to a new area, if you are social like me, it's imperative to start making some friends right away.  It's even more important now that Helaina needs playmates.  "Shopping" for new friends has a familiar feel to it....It's not that much different than the dating scene.

Sure I've got high standards going in:

First and foremost, the children have to play the same.  I love that Helaina is neither super aggressive nor a wall flower. I'm guessing this would open her options to get along with people like her,  and even some of the less extremes of the aforementioned groups.

Also, it's important that the family has some of the same values and habits etc...  I don't feel like explaining to Helaina why it's OK for "Jonnie So and So" to gorge on candy, chips and soda, or why Susie Q's parents don't intervene AT ALL when she shoves someone down a slide or doesn't want to share her Barbie hummer power wheels.  Budgeting can also be a hurdle as some families do not have the cash to / or simply choose not to / do anything that costs money and yet others seem to have cash coming out the ying yang (to quote my mother) and they belong to every kid thing possible in the city.

There are also needs to be some commonality within the parents too.  There are often those parents that report every day and every moment with their child is a Norman Rockwell moment.  (They are either completely full of donkey or I'm just jealous - whatever the story -- it's not a good match for me).  There is the other extreme as well -- you know those parents who just want to socialize with the adults, constantly complain about their kids / husband etc.  and are bothered by their children's interruptions into their conversations.  No thank you.

The kids schedules should match up as well. Some children and parents do things in the afternoon time while some prefer the morning usually based on nap schedule.  Trying to get your child to adapt to a different circadian rhythm is just not going to happen.  I've got a few related meltdowns under my belt to prove it.

To compensate for my "high standards"and required quick turn around, I have turned to technology to find my play date friends.  I never actually used an Internet dating service but from what I have heard, this is not that far off.  (yes I know 2 -3 people who found their husbands and wives on those things, but I know a heck of a lot more that swore that it's just a virtual nightclub).  I used Meetup.com in Hawaii and ended up in an OK group.  The problem was that the ages were always a bit off and and in the rare instance where they were not, you may not see the person again.

I used meet up again here in CA and can't help but feel like it's rush week or worse yet, the dating scene.  I felt all the awkwardness of "will they accept my request to be a member based on my answers?"  I actually requested 2 groups since I have moved and only one accepted me.  Go ahead, have a pouty lip, cock your head to the side and have an "Awwwwwwwww" moment for me right now.  As I always say, everyone wants to be invited to the party but it's OK.  I know the one that didn't accept wasn't the right group us.  I wish I could say I was gonna completely let this one go but I am secretly wishing that I somehow run into someone in that group and they think I'm the coolest person ever and I say "oh you are the blah blah blah group... Hummmhhhhhh!!!!!!"  moving on.

I'm not set out trying to make lifetime friends.  Those just happen naturally.  Just like the story went with my husband  (that is if you call it natural running down the street after him).  But seriously, I know great friend happen when you least expect it...  Someone that you salvaged from an old boyfriend,  a HS friend, in your birthing class, someone from a "past life", someone you worked with, a person you met at a fundraiser, or someone you got 'stuck' on an island with etc.....  All those relationships happened organically and those types are unlikely to come out of some Internet scene.  Again, I am more looking for someone my children can play with and I can enjoy some conversation as well.

I was supposed to have my first outing with my new group this past week.  For reading purposes I will call them, My Group.  Oh yes, I worried about what to wear for myself and the girls (especially in light of the zoo make up incident -- see earlier post: Mooooving (see zoo part) I got up extra early to pack snack and lunches.  I checked google maps to make sure I knew where to go and could get there on time.  I prepped Helaina on using her manners and on remembering to "share share."  We were all set!  There were supposed to be 2 other attendees from my group but they were meeting up with another group as well.  (We will call that group, Group B for our purposes here.)  I thought this would be a nice starter trip.  I wouldn't be overwhelmed with names and I could check out the other group at the same time.  There were a lot of moms and kids there but "I was focused" on meeting my group (this could be where I made my first wrong move).  I found the spot we were to meet at and started talking to the first person who ended up being in group B.  She wasn't familiar with my group so I checked my phone to make sure that I had the facts right and although my dating web site, my Meetup site confirmed the information, NO ONE from my group showed and no one from Group B had ever heard of my group.  Worse yet, I was coldly greeted by the first person in that group and almost every other person from Group B as well.   Surprisingly enough, I found out that group B was a Christian based organization.  I should not expect different behavior because they were a Christian organization but I couldn't help myself for being disappointed that no one reached out in my time of need.  I am sure they had no idea that I had just moved here and had an overwhelming desire to acclimate and find playmates for my little ones.  Maybe they smelled my desperation.  Mental note to self:  Be especially nice to new mommies in the area.  Anyhow, I would classify the attempt at socializing as a big fat negative but we did find another cool park with a sand and water feature!

I did meet a nice lady with children close enough in age to make a go.  I felt nervous but I made the first move (sort of) at the end of a long and encouraging conversation.  "I usually carry cards with my number but I do not have any on me. " ---*** side note -- I actually do have cards that say Helaina's mommy.  What kind of an amateur goes to a potential pick up joint like the zoo and doesn't bring her cards!!!!!!! (me)  She either feigned interest or was really into me because she said "I'll take your number and text you the other kid places I told you about."  I went for the kill:  "That would be great.  Let me know if you want to get the kids together for a play date."  She affirmed and I felt at that moment like things would be OK.   I didn't need some mommy group to help me make friends.
Soooo that was Wednesday and she still hasn't sent a text.  :o( Chris said maybe she doesn't want to seem desperate or that there is some unwritten rule about how long before contact can be made again.  She is obviously "the boy" in this 'relationship.'

In the mean time, I will keep "dating."  Hopefully a suitable family will come along and Helaina (and Indi and I ) can have a regular name and face to play with.  In my dream world there will be a cool dad that Chris would get along with as well.  Actually, in my over the top dream world, I would live close to all my friends and family that I already know and love and my kids would play with their kids!  Now that I have completely depressed myself (and maybe you too), I will post some pictures of the girls cause that always makes people smile.   I MISS YOU FRIENDS and FAMILY!!!

These swings are awesome.  Coaster Training!

This was the supposed meet up day.   We had fun anyway!

Helaina's new bedding.  Hoooooo

Daddy for story time

Moooooooooving

I'm no stranger to moving however, moving with kids is new business to me.  Obviously we wouldn't be moving (especially this much) if it were not corporate.  That being said, I am so grateful that it was a corporate move and many of the pains of moving were handled.  I can't not imagine how much more difficult things would have been.

Packing Up
Our place in Honolulu was furnished by Disney and we had stuff of our own as there as well.  Our new place has "everything we need" basically, The Disney stuff that we were not purchasing from Honolulu was to be given to an philanthropic organization.  We had stuff going back to Florida for our return one day and we had things going to CA.  We also had to pack for 4 weeks of suitcase living until our things arrive.  What a cluster.  We had to separate things into these piles as best as possible.  (seems simple enough - NOT - look around your house and imagine organizing EVERYTHING into 3 piles and having 2 sets of movers.  I will be amazed if everything makes it to it's intended destination.

Helaina and Indigo did the best job possible for a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old under the conditions.  Every 30 seconds Helaina would grab a toy or something out of a box or a pile.  It was slightly maddening but not surprising for her age.  She slept on a blanket with a pillow and no pillow case the last two days for nap at our apartment while Chris and I cleaned and organized.  She ate picnic style in our hotel room and loved getting to eat out and try new foods from delivery.  Wonder where she gets that from? (Thank you Vertolli's for the awesome delivery gift certificate that we used every cent of -- and mommy enjoyed the holiday from the kitchen though surprisingly, I'm glad to be back.)

We said Aloha to great friends, a beautiful state (for many reasons) and the place where we had our babies.

Moving On
It's imperative for those of you who want to see me visit, this must be the last time I shall speak or write about the airplane experience.  This is a family blog so I will hold the expletives that come to mind when I recall the pain and agony of this flight.  We could have left early am or red eye but I believe this could have actually hurt worse - especially since Heliana did not sleep on our last redeye AT ALL.  A 2 pm flight seemed the most manageable.  We got up at 6 packed up and ate breakfast.  However, at breakfast, Chris' "slippah" -( if you live in Hawaii - Flip flop if you any where else except Jersey where we called them thongs..  I digress)  whatever you call it, it broke.  (see exhibit A and B).

Yes he did monkey toe the broken string to "walk" back to our room

Therefore, Chris dropped Indi and I at Walmart for a last minute purchase while he and H headed to our 9 am walk through for our apartment.    That went relatively well with the exception that they informed us we need to return our cable box to the cable place.  After the cable box return downtown, we headed to the Post Office to mail 3 boxes of "immediate need" things that we felt we would have before 4 weeks but there was no way in heck we could carry anything else on the plane.

We still managed to arrive with time to spare.  Chris drops me at the curb with the all the carry on and checked luggage.
Carry on = One dog in a dog carrier, one dog bag of food etc..., one back pack for children's entertainment, 2 computer bags, a cooler for Indi's food, one baby bag, one stroller, & one Minnie Mouse doll.
Checked luggage:  4 heavy suitcases, 1  pack and play, & 2 car seats.  Oy Ve.

A wonderful and well tipped sky cap took all our belongings while the girls and I (including bebe) checked in.  Prior to security, I entertained the girls while Chris took bebe to go potty before embarking on her adventure but not before I slipped her a doggie Valium.  (Yes, I did think about taking one for myself and in hindsight wish I would have considered it harder).  While Chris was coming through security last with bebe, the TSA agent asked me if I was traveling alone.  I just looked at her and gave a hysterical sort of laugh.

We eat, board and feel like we have the hard part behind us.  ERRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNT.  Silly Laura for thinking that this 5 hour flight would be cake because it's half the time I am used to flying.  Fortunately we had 4 seats across and didn't have to share an actual row with anyone -- though they may have qualified for a sympathy move to another section.  Bless my sweet children's hearts but Heliana did not sleep one wink the entire day and Indi took 3, 20 minute naps.  Amidst the meltdowns and constant breastfeeding bebe decided that she was unhappy with her lot and started barking.  (Any of you who know bebe may recall that she doesn't bark).  Clearly she was ticked so I gladly fed her the next installment of Valium though I again considered the dosage for myself or my children.
Our seating was nestled among a very large Chinese tourist group.  I must say that a few of the people in this group were so incredibly rude that it made me fearful of just what exactly we are getting ourselves into on our next move-- now that I have had time to calm down, I reminded myself that there will be cultural changes and challenges but this group was in no way indicative of what my experiences will be (hopefully).  At one point my easy breezy husband that I've never seen loose his cool, HIT the back of my seat and told the guy who was trying to look over the seat while I was breast feeding it was "Not ok and to back off".  I also verbally assaulted a women who was staring and laughing at me during a double child meltdown.  Though we arrived at 10:30 PM the luggage and rental car fetching delivered us to our new home at the ripe local time of 1:30 AM.  (10:30 PM at our origin location in case you didn't want to do the math).  Helaina had still not slept at this point but promptly crashed the millisecond her head hit the pillow as did the rest of us.

Settling In
Our first weekend was good.  It's strange how living in a place for just 3 years can wear off on you.  Hawaiian life had rubbed off on us more than we had realized.  The car horn beeping, traffic (way worse than the bad honolulu traffic) smog, and "fancy people (see later description)" will all take some getting used to.   I am not sure if I will ever get used to the warning signs that are posted every where in almost every building.    The reality is I am sure these dangers are most everywhere but I prefer to live in ignorance.

This gem is posted in the elevator in our building

30 mile drive 1 hour 10min.  Hmmm where does the smog come from?

There are a few things that we are loving in our transition so far.  For one THE FOOD OPTIONS!!!!!!!  I love that restaurants are so good and there are so many to choose from.  Hawaii had a few but not many.  I guess we just got used to it I guess.  Man it's good to be back to eating.  I'm going to have to step up my exercise regime if I'm going to keep up with my taste buds.  

The cost of food at the grocery is a close runner up.  I found my self uncontrollably smiling and wanting to tell complete strangers just how great the prices are.  On our first trip to the grocery where you have to buy everything (olive oil, mustard, tin foil etc...) It was the same price as my weekly grocery visit in Honolulu!!  I feel rich ;o)

If allowed, I think Helaina could take this pile herself 

One of the best things though is the amount and quality of the kid parks.  As Chris put it, "No wonder why this state is bankrupt".  The first 3 parks we have visited have been some of the best parks I have ever been to.  One yesterday had a 3 story slide and one today had 4 separate sections including a splash pad.  Maybe this is normal for you people but I was happy if I found one in Honolulu with no rust and if it had swings it was a bonus.

The Zoo here is awesome.  Well our first trip was not that NOT as it was uber-hot, crowded with "fancy people *see later note" and Helaina poked herself in the eye (This would be the second time she has done this) with her own finger.  We ended up in urgent care but it all was fine in the end.  That being said, we need a "Zoo-over" but we are looking forward to it.

Now about these "Fancy People" that I have referred to.  For the most part, I have always been on the low maintenance side when it comes do hair, make-up etc...  I have further embraced this since becoming a mommy.  I don't prefer to spend the limited time that I have looking in the mirror at myself. If that is your thing, that's cool.  However, even if it is I might suspect you may also be baffled to find 2 or 3 different mommies applying make up in the zoo parking lot (eye lash curlers, powder and everything).  I sure hope the animals appreciated the extra time these ladies put into getting ready.  People just dress a bit different here -- my simple self can only refer to it as fancy.  I hope it doesn't wear off ;o)

Our first official weekend here, we headed off to hike up the "Heart of Hollywood" hike.  It was somewhat challenging and we enjoyed some fantastic people watching.  There were some views of some ridiculously large homes, the Hollywood sign, lots of dogs (no leash required), & downtown all covered with a not so faint gray cloud of smog.  We had our first "celebrity sighting" which was Ryan from the office (sorry, no picture).  I would say you can't really call it celebrity if you don't know the actors name (and only their role) but I'm not that great with actors names do don't take my word for it.
More celebrity like for Helaina was a fire truck that drove up the paved "hike".   She told the fireman that trucks were yellow in Honolulu.   She even got to sit in the truck.  I think she felt like the celebrity.

We are not in Honolulu anymore Dorothy

look real close and you will see "Hollywood"

We are currently living in Glendale but are moving to Burbank next month to a one floor unit.  Once we get settled in, I will send out change of address notes.  In the mean time, I will hopefully be able to update you with our nonsense and maybe even book some trips to see you people.  As always, our door is open and we would love to have visitors.  

Shout out to Vanessa, Our first east coaster that took
time out of her business trip to hang with the girls and I.